Dear Axero,

I already love your music but I understand it a lot more on on truffles I feel like I am literally inside the music.

I didn't choose you, you chose me. It all became clear last Friday. Everyone of your song is a reason.

Axero is the best trip sitter. He keeps it chill. The best.

2013, you smell good.

So it's the end of 2012, what do I have to say for myself?

Well, it's been a great year. I've finally fulfilled my bucket list of backpacking in Europe and I did good.
The bad news is I caught a disease from the trip, the travel bug.
So, yes, I've altered my life plans to accomodate my hedonistic nomadic lifestyle (ethical of course)
to the dismay of my parents.
What the hell!?!
You only live once.

2013, you are my lucky year. I can smell it.

This will be the year I do whatever the hell I want!

Maybe He's Out There

On my next voyage for peace, I meet him – the one who sets my heart on fire.

A person who perpetually gives you that feeling, that warm fuzzy feeling kind like butterflies in your stomach but much better - day and night.
That one person who puts the widest grin on your face the moment you wake up and is there again in your thoughts right before you doze off to sleep.
Constant happiness that makes you feel like you can explode any moment all the time.

Can you imagine. . .a love like that?

My pursuit

These days periodically I'd see myself in a moment, a flash, a downward spiral; Relapsing into what was once an empty hole in my mentality. Feeling alone like no one understands me or atleast does not want to sympathize with my situation. Passion is a drug itself. Pleasurable moments that you never want to end. When it does, sadness, despair, a knot settles in your stomach and you yearn, you ache, to make that pain go away. You'd do almost anything to be at that happy place again. It's in the mind, in the body. We are conscious over it but why should we resist? Quote: If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. This is my pursuit of happiness.

EPORUE-EVOL-I

Some people find love early, some late; For me, I found love at twenty-five.
It took me seven years to finally pull a Eurotrip.

Why? Well, I didn't have the money to do it right before college and got stuck being a college nerd for five years.

"Well, atleast it happened." I tell myself.
So now I can proudly use my carefully thought up screen names: scruffybackpacker and surreptitioustraveler, without feeling like a phony wannabe.
The self inflicting hate that has been growing like a tumor inside fueled by amazing travel stories - stories of others - has been appeased and my love for this magnificent world is growing.

I love the Louvre, not for it's artifacts or paintings or sculptures but for the atmosphere it gives at night allowing Francois the street musician to magically transform me back to an age where I haven't been, an era where love and music transforms the mind into something human.

The trip changed me and I came back a completely new person.
From Salsa dancing in Rome, stealing a pizza in Barcelona, hooking up in the dark alleys of Venice, crying at the sight of Florence, to trying some Parisian cocaine, I aged years in just one month.

Sparrows, and even a pigeon, ate grain from my hand at the Notre Dame.
I got to dunk my feet in the mediterranean sea, made out with a soldier from Israel and a night of crazy dancing led to an unexpected kiss from a French cutie who lost my lighter.

I'm already planning my next trip.

Hunger Games

So my 2nd book review is going to be The Hunger Games.. I guess

I started off hardly intersted in the books but then the movie hype finally caught up to me as well so I bought a copy to read during my birthday trip to Surathani.

If you sum up the main ideas of who did what in as few words as you can, the movie would be very similar to battle royale; a bunch of people chosen to fight to the death in an arena full of weapons and obstacles. Only one will survive

But what The Hunger Games differ is that the " Hunger Games" is a political tool (not just pure S&M) designed to keep the 12 districts of a future country set out in the distant 22nd century (once known as north america) in line and remind them of the misfortune that had befallen the late 13th district.
Instead having thousands of people die each district sends in a male and a femal tribute to the capitol each year to fight to the death and so on.

"... Dark Days, the uprising of the districts against the Capitol. Twelve were defeated, the thirteenth obliterated. The Treaty of Treason gave us the new laws to guarantee peace and, as our yearly reminder that the Dark Days must never be repeated, it gave us the Hunger Games."

I enjoyed Catching Fire as much as the Hunger games. I really was trying to imagine what she could possibly do to maintain the suspense of the story but she did it extremely well. Even the arena was insane.

"On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors"
The sophistication of the arena is hands down well thought up.

So what didn't I like about it? Well, (many other reviewers agree as well that) there were way too many unnescessary casualties.

Finnick.

Finnick "Stud muffin" Odair.

The book describes him as "Tall, athletic, with golden skin and bronze-coloured hair and those incredible [sea-green] eyes" and Katniss says he is unarguably one of the most stunning, sensuous people on the planet.

How can you not love him? With the charming smile, the incredible athleticism and the soft character behind all that!
His death (I, myself too horrified to verbalize the specifics of it) was truly underserving.


Yeah we all know there was a war in Mockingjay and everything but come on! our main character, Katniss, volunteered to take Prim (her sister)'s place in the games to basically save her life.

But in the end, it didn't matter!!!

Prim got blown to smitherines towards the end of the war. She died less than a year after Katniss's entering the first Hunger Games. I felt like Katniss's primary motive literally died in vain.

So I am now left questioning the message of this book.
What the hell is it?
Is it telling us that fate is inevitable?
It's useless to protect the one we love?

This book is very very dark for Y.A.
I have no doubt that many kids will feel be left confused, drained, and hopeless for a couple of hours after finishing Mockingjay, the last sequel.

So the BIG shocker (I think I had goodbumps and had to reread it a second time) was when rebel president Coin said

"What has been proposed is that in lieu of eliminating the entire Capitol population, we have a final, symbolic Hunger Games,"

Way to put a damper on the youth of today's hopes by saying no matter how shitty things get, it can always get shittier.



And what about Gale? He didn't even say bye! He just...left. After all he's been through with Katniss that's how their five year friendship ends?
Okay, the writer kinda saved it in the last page with Katniss realizing her love for Peeta was what she needed all along.

     Peeta   and   I  grow   back   together.  There  are  still

moments when he clutches the back of a chair and hangs

on until the flashbacks are over.  I wake screaming from

nightmares of mutts and lost children.   But his arms are

there  to  comfort  me. And  eventually  his  lips. On  the

night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me

on the beach,  I know this would have happened anyway.

That  what I  need to  survive is not  Gale's  fire, kindled

with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I

need  is  the  dandelion  in  the spring. The  bright yellow

that  means  rebirth  instead of  destruction. The promise

that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it

can  be  good  again. And  only  Peeta  can give  me  that.

      So after, when he whispers, "You love me. Real or not

real?"
      I tell him "Real."

So...I've discovered this cool new secondhand bookstore about two weeks ago and my nose has been buried ever since.

The first one I finished was The Kite Runner since there were no sequels to it I'd figure I could just "get it over with".

The overall plot was great, moving. Not many books have made me shed tears but the loyalty and the devotion was soo supreme, admirable.

The writing style was sort of confusing. I do agree that the random foreign words was taken way to far.

Eventhough I've finished it over a week ago, I still haven't sold it back yet because there are some good parts that I wanted to go back to


"
...Ali was immune to the insults of his assailants; he had found his joy, his antidote, the moment Sanaubar had given birth to Hassan...even in birth, Hassan was true to his nature: He was incapable of hurting anyone. A few grunts, a couple of pushes, and out came Hassan. Out he came smiling. (10)

Hassan and I fed from the same breasts. We took our first steps on the same lawn in the same yard. And, under the same roof, we spoke our first words.
Mine was Baba.
His was Amir. My name. (11)

If there's a God out there, then I would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork. Now, hop now. All this talk about sin has made me thirsty again. (18)

By the time I dragged myself out of bed and lumbered to the bathroom, Hassan had already washed up, prayed the morning namaz with Ali, and prepared my breakfast: hot black tea with three sugar cubes and a slice of toasted naan topped with my favorite sour cherry marmalade, all neatly placed on the dining table. While I ate and complained about homework, Hassan made my bed, polished my shoes, ironed my outfit for the day, packed my books and pencils. I'd hear him singing to himself in the foyer as he ironed, singing old Hazara songs in his nasal voice. Then, Baba and I drove off in his black Ford Mustang - a car that drew envious looks everywhere because it was the same car Steve McQueen has driven in Bullitt, a film that played in one theater for six months. Hassan Stayed home and helped Ali with the day's chores: hand-washing dirty clothes and hanging them dry in the yard, sweeping the floors, buying fresh naan from the bazaar, marinating meat for dinner, watering the lawn. (27)

Over the years, I had seen a lot of guys run kites. But Hassan was by far the greatest kite runner I'd ever seen. It was downright eerie the way he always got to the spot the kite would land before the kite did,

He whirled around, motioned with his hand. "This way!" he called before dashing around another corner. I looked up, saw that the direction we were running was opposite to the one the kite was drifting.
"We're losing it! We're going the wrong way!" I cried out.
"Trust me!" I heard him call up ahead.

"What are we doing here?" I panted, my stomach rolling with nausea.
He smiled. "Sit with me Amir Agah."

I dropped next to him, lay on a thin patch of snow, wheezing. "You're wasting our time. It was going the other way, didn't you see?"

Hassan popped a mulberry in his mouth. "It's coming," he said.
"How do you know?" I said.
"I know."

"Here it comes," Hassan said, pointing to the sky. He rose to his feet and walked a few paces to his left. I looked up, saw the kite plummeting towards us. I heard footfalls, shouts, an approaching melee of kite runners. But they were wasting their time. Because Hassan stood with his arms wide open, smiling, waiting for the kite. And may God - if He exists, that is - strike me blind if the kite didn't just dropped into his outstretched arms. (52-55)

"Hassan!" I called. "Come back with it!"
He was already turning the street corner, his rubber boots kicking up snow. He stopped, turned. He cupped his hands around his mouth. "For you a thousand times over!" he said. The he smiled his Hassan smile and disappeared around the corner. The next time I saw him smile unabashedly like that was twenty-six years later, in a faded Polaroid photograph. (67)

"


I personally like the first half better.

GREEN =]

So I feel bad having been gone for a long time but I have a good reason!
I started a full time job, have a wrist injury, and switched to dvorak! (It's suppose to be healthier for your wrist but dam I am typing like a snail.)

Don't worry. I am getting the hang of the layout!

Today I am doing a piece on environmentally friendly practices.
I want to share an article I found...


Why do you need driving tips for going green?
This is because it is not enough to use ecologically friendly automobiles.
To play your part for the environment, your driving and automobile maintenance habits are equally important.
The proper maintenance and use of your automobile (ie. when driving) can help increase fuel efficiency, reduce fuel energy consumption, as well as reduce pollution.
Here are some simple green driving tips and why they are important:
Avoid jamming on the accelerator
Jamming on the accelerator not only increases the release of polluting emissions, but also leads to the unnecessary waste of already scarce gasoline. In fact, jamming on the accelerator for 1 second releases similar volumes of carbon monoxide into the atmosphere as 30 minutes of normal driving.
As such, adopt this important tips for going green today – make a conscious effort to avoid jamming on the accelerator. Accelerate gradually to cruising speed instead.
Switch to the overdrive gear, where possible
When your automobile is cruising at consistent speeds, switch to a higher gear – the higher gear makes fewer rotations per minute and thereby reduces fuel usage and wear and tear on the engine.
Adhere to the speed limit of your autombile
Driving just 10 mph over the stipulated limit of your automobile can reduce its fuel economy by close to 10 percent, as well as increase tailpipe pollution in certain vehicles.
As such, adhere to the recommended speed limit of your automobile. By not speeding, you are also reducing the chances of meeting with a car accident.
Plan your route in advance
One of the important driving tips for going green is to plan your travelling route in advance, so that you would not lose your way and waste time and fuel in making detours.
Also, plan your route to beat the rush hour traffic. Heavy traffic conditions means that you constantly have to apply your brakes and accelerator, which result in greater fuel consumption and pollution. The frequent application of brakes also causes wear and tear to your brakes – additional cost to maintain your automobile.
Planning your trip in advance also allows you to combine trips – run errands that require you to travel to the same area within the same trip, rather than making a few separate trips. In this way, you reduce the amount of travelling needed, fuel used as well as the pollution created.
Reduce the load on your automobile
Another tips for going green when driving is to remove any unnecessary load that your automobile is carrying.
If you have a habit of storing things in your car boot, clear your boot regularly to remove things you do not need on your trips. An additional load of 100 pounds reduces the fuel economy of the vehicle by at least 1 percent.
Keep your vehicle from extreme temperatures
An important tips for going green when driving is to keep your vehicle from extreme temperatures.
If it is summer, or you happen to be living in a warm region, wind down your vehicle’s windows to cool the interior of the vehicle before switching on the air conditioner. The air conditioner drastically increases fuel usage, and in some vehicles also increases nitrogen emissions which are environmentally hazardous.
Alternatively, park your vehicle indoors or under a shade if possible, to keep the interior of the car cool and to reduce the vaporisation of the fuel.
Make use of window shades to reduce the heating of your vehicle interior in summer, and use the windshield shades to keep the frost off in winter.

http://www.all-recycling-facts.com/tips-for-going-green.html

Winning is not everything...but it sure feels good

You have received a believable-looking business-sized white envelope in the mail. The return address is from a company called Peerless. Printed on the envelope, in bright red letters, are the words "You May Have Already Won." Tell the story of what it is you may have won-or what it is you didn't win. Tell what you do with this envelope.


Start with: Life takes some funny twists and turns...

Life takes some funny twists and turns when you least expect it. Or in my case, when you're 24, broke, and bored out of your mind.

I was watching the news one morning when I got an unexpected call from an old buddy. I hadn't heard from him since my freshman year of High School and even back then we didn't talk that much. Most of the time we'd be high from smoking weed or laughing our pants off about something indecent so you can imagine how less than thrilled I was to hear what he had to say.

He said he'd been working for this new networking website called peerless.com which is basically a dating site by a company that thought a) the synonym for the word "friend" lessened the lameness reputation of online dating and b) hoped to cash in on the less than eager market participants. He also said that they had been down with successful pairs and needed to "hit the numbers" really bad since he was putting his younger brother through college (the tuition hikes have been preposterous), and made most of his livings off commissions of successful matches. Well, to cut to the chase, he said put my information in the clientele database.

With that being said I started going off at him about how nice it was of him to think of me as a spinster in the making that needed some geek's help to fulfill a happy life. I was inflamed. I was heated. I could barely hear him on the other side trying to explain.

Wait.

Huh?

I heard the words "prize" and "Hawaii"

My brain is back.

He explained that to draw in more clients, every month the company drew a man and a woman's name for a free three day trip to Hawaii and this month I had won!


OMG I was so excited.

He continued to say that there should be a white envelope in my trashcan somewhere.

Uh-oh.

I quickly did a mental rewind of the activities I did for the past few days. I had just come back from visiting my cousins to a sizable amount of mail and luckily hadn't bothered to sort them out yet.

So anyway he said that my plane leaves tonight and if I wanted to go I'd have to pack immediately, meet him at the office by 2 to get all the paperworks done, and be at the airport by 6.


I said no problemo, dude. Hawaii here I come!

I quickly found the white envelope with the a return address from peerless

I tear it open and to my horror found out that I would be staying in Honolulu.
What's what's wrong with Honolulu? My loathsome ex-boyfriend lives there and after the horrible and humiliating breakup, I had sworn to knife him if I ever saw him again.

I threw the envelope in the trash.

I glanced in the trash can again.
There printed neatly in bright red letters on it read "You May Have Already Won"


Hmm..

The next morning I awoke to the smell of fresh coffee and the captain announcing that we will be landing in Honolulu in two hours.

I looked out the window to see the bright blue waters. The sun shone nicely and I felt more relaxed than I had in days.

We finally landed and since I only had my carry on I had a few minutes to spare before the hotel bus leaves so I told the driver I was going to grab a magazine at the newspaper stand and that I'll be right back.

I was rummaging through the stacks trying to decided whether I wanted to read Cosmo, Elle, or Harper's Bazaar when a screaming child came running down the terminal. Everyone looked and so did I.


The boy belonged to a young girl with bleached blonde hair, enormous boobs, and an obvious fake tan who screamed back at the boy when she caught up with him. Another guy followed them with another baby in his arms.
It was my ex-boyfriend.

He had gained a few pounds, looks tired from all the partying he did in his earlier years, and I'm sure parenting hasn't lifted up his spirits.

I glanced back at the stack of magazines and realized I already had my morning entertainment for the day.

I turned around and ran into someone. He was tall, muscular, and had the face of Enrique Iglesias.

The good-looking guy introduced himself as Josh and apparently he is the male winner for the trip.
He pointed across the terminal to a happy looking peerless employee who pointed me out to him and explained that he just wanted to come over to say hi. He had the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen.

Yes, I think I may have already won.

Sex, drugs, rock n roll

As I skipped over the bits of sunshine and rainbow I am left standing in front of you. Your sweet smile and impetuous charm tortures me like a vine growing inside.
I'm ripped. I'm torn. I want to cry but the tears aren't there; They've been depleted.
So now I lay curled up whimpering - rotten, dry, and hollow like a dead tree.
And many wonder where the beautiful creatures have gone.
Whatever ruined them?
Sex, drugs, rock n roll. If women weren't so scorned we wouldn't have been there.

a stampede of wild mustangs took me by surprise
I let myself go with the forceful nature
once the dust settled I saw clear
the chaos is over

(Almost)

I had been in the building reading for over five hours.
My neck was sore, my stomach was empty, it was late, and I was beginning to get a little bit cold. So I carefully got up and quickly packed my things.
A few seconds later I was half a flight of stairs away from the entrance.
I raced out to catch the last few minutes of twilight.

Just as I was about to take a deep breath and enjoy the damp air I saw a figure racing towards the entrance.
It was a person I haven't seen in over six years.

He was a guy I had a thing with during my last year of High School.

I was madly head over heels for a while but it never went anywhere near hanging out and holding hands. He was the first person that I really believed was perfect for me.

So I ran after him without thinking.

I detest situations where I am juxtaposed in an equated conjecture with characters I do not hold any regard for.

I despise premature acts of affection from the male gender. Such act is inexplicably maladroit to my particular zest and shall be derided and shun.

At some point, we all walk away from something

All these times people have been asking me.

I have been asking myself.

Why did I leave?

The journey was great. The destination was not.

I did not want to see the ending of this tragic love story.



Happiness is terse.

Suffering is interminable.

Dear S.C.,

09/10/2010

I have spent the last two months of summer enjoying every piece and bit of you. Although we never lived together, many of my summer nights and most of my waking summer moments were shared with you. Lots of people have been mesmerized by your laid back and peaceful lifestyle. You were quite the charmer and we all, for a second or more, got caught in that whirlpool wonderland.

Alas, summer is now over and people are moving on with their lives going back to school and cutting back on their sun hours. Our summer romance has ended and the realities of life have kicked in. Though I do not mind spending a peaceful beach life with you forever, I know that it is not what my heart desires, atleast not at this point in life.

I am too young to settle down and long to see the world. If I am to appreciate the quietness later on in life, I must journey out to the land of skyscrapers. And one day, when I grow tire of the fast pace life, maybe I will come back. If it's meant to be we will be together again.

Dear S.C.

09/10/2010

I have spent the last two months of summer enjoying every piece and bit of you. Although we never lived together, many of my summer nights and most of my waking summer moments were shared with you. Lots of people have been mesmerized by your laid back and peaceful lifestyle. You were quite the charmer and we all, for a second or more, got caught in that whirlpool wonderland. Alas, summer is now over and people are moving on with their lives going back to school and cutting back on their sun hours. Our summer romance has ended and the realities of life have kicked in. Though I do not mind spending a peaceful beach life with you forever, I know that it is not what my heart desires, atleast not at this point in life. I am too young to settle down and long to see the world. If I am to appreciate the quietness later on in life, I must journey out to the land of skyscrapers. And one day, when I grow tire of the fast pace life, maybe I will come back. If it's meant to be we will be together again.

Back in High School

I'm sitting on a chair with my arms crossed over each other on a desk and my neck bent over resting on them.

I don't know how long I've been sleeping but the ache in my neck tells me it's been for atleast a couple of hours.

I look up to start stretching and find myself in an empty room with lots of bookshelves against the walls. There are posters on the wall - some new, some ripped - and as I look to the front of the room I suddenly know where I am.

It definitly is a school but not one I've ever been to. I get up and walk around the room craning my neck to hear sounds of another being while searching the desks for any clue to tell me the name of the school and where this is.

Nothing.

I try the door in front of the room. I gently ease it open incase there's someone outside but I see no one. I close the door and walk back into the room. I take a few steps toward the middle of the room wondering how I got there. Midway through my thought I am interrupt by a sudden loud noise; It was like pieces of metal clashing into each other - the bell rang. Dozens of people start to rush in.

Am I going crazy?

We are sitting in a room, everything is white, and everyone else is out of focus. He and I are both on a couch. The couches are facing each other into an L shape. Sitting on the ends we can see each others' face so easily. We stare at each other back and forth. Everyone around us seems to be moving so fast their movements become blurry.

Suddenly the seat next to me is empty. He quickly got up from his seat to join me, casually put his left arm over the backseat of the couch, and turn towards me. He lifts his right arm and starts playing with my hair gently while staring into my eyes.

He says "I'm glad you came back."

Shy, I broke our gaze for a second, meet his eyes again, and smile faintly.

He looks across the room says "You know, I told (insert name) one day that I will let her know how I feel."

He pauses for a few seconds.

"This is how I feel."

He turns to lean in and kisses me softly.

And then I wake up.

Matters of the body

I've known my head to be stubborn but I've come to find out that my heart is much worse.

They say when it comes to love, you should listen to your heart but when listening to your heart becomes self destructive, does the same rule apply?